With my eyes close, m tryin to see
what is nd what might be
trying to find future locked in past
Am i Stuck?
I look at the same moon so does she
I look at the same sky so does she
Seprated by hundreds of miles shez still near
During the breaks, i think of her
During the dinner, i eat for her
While sleeping too, i dream of her
Is this Love? Or just obsession
I havtn yet cried , for she aint mine
And when the time comes, maybe she would never be
But just to believe , that thrz sm1 , caring for u
Maybe that's love!!
Monday, October 8, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Believe
I wake up when the sun goes down
Walking in the shadow of street lights
Therez a puzzled look somewhere
Unable to understand..Unable to think
Why do I feel
What is the meaning of bunch of letters
How can emotions jeo-paridze ur life
Maybe language should be better
Maybe i m jealous
of all of the world
of those who sleep when i wake
of those who can think , when i m blank
of those who can love..when i cant feel
I decide to feel
I decide to think
I decide to Love...
But they wont let me...
Cuz i m a threat... i m an enemy..
cuz the only friend is themselves...
cuz to hate is Love..
Cuz to follow is to Think..
Cuz to play is to feel...
I believe...
Walking in the shadow of street lights
Therez a puzzled look somewhere
Unable to understand..Unable to think
Why do I feel
What is the meaning of bunch of letters
How can emotions jeo-paridze ur life
Maybe language should be better
Maybe i m jealous
of all of the world
of those who sleep when i wake
of those who can think , when i m blank
of those who can love..when i cant feel
I decide to feel
I decide to think
I decide to Love...
But they wont let me...
Cuz i m a threat... i m an enemy..
cuz the only friend is themselves...
cuz to hate is Love..
Cuz to follow is to Think..
Cuz to play is to feel...
I believe...
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Does degree Matter??
It is an accepted fact of life that coaching classes have reduced a generation of IITians to an army of crammers. It is also recognised that such people never make it far in life –– the topper-as-failure is part of HR lore. (All toppers are not failures; it is only the crammer-topper combine that doesn’t work.)
On the other hand, you have a galaxy of school and college dropouts who have been very successful in life. The members of this tribe include Bill Gates of Microsoft (until recently the world’s richest man). The Indians on the list include professionals of the likes of Securities & Exchange Board of India (SEBI) chairman M. Damodaran, who studied for a while at the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) before deciding to quit because it was not his cup of tea (he, however, has a graduate degree).
So does a college degree or a good academic record matter in an individual’s professional life? Does Oxbridge or the Ivy League (with apologies to all those who contend that they don’t give you any education, but are simply old boys’ clubs and network channels) equip you better for the job market? Does an Indian Institute of Management tag mean that you can strategise better than a trader’s son from Tinsukia?
“The first issue to be disposed of when you are asking such questions is the sort of job you are talking about,” says P. Mukerji, a Mumbai-based HR practitioner. “If you are inheriting your papa’s property — whether it is a rundown workshop or the country’s largest company — it doesn’t remotely matter what letters you can attach to your name. The degrees count when you are a professional approaching the job market.”
Mukerji is a bit of a cynic when he considers the sort of education doled out in even the best of institutes, be it Indian or foreign. “These institutes simply act as sieves,” he says. “When you hire someone from IIT, you know he or she has passed through one tough entrance exam. When you hire someone from IIT and IIM, you can be doubly sure for the same reason.”
But, as you progress in life, where you started from becomes increasingly irrelevant. In fact, there is a sort of reverse snobbery about it. Talk to a tech success in the US, and he will take great pride in telling you that he comes from the boondocks in Bihar. If he happens to have done his schooling from a top-notch institution in Calcutta or Mumbai, he keeps quiet about it. Like Dick Whittington, the longer the distance you travel, the more you can boast about it.
There is a difference, however, in the degrees or qualifications you acquire after you have taken up a job. Refresher courses always work better because you have a clearer picture of what you need to help you in your career. This is also the reason that many top institutes, for instance the Indian School of Business, Hyderabad, prefer students with considerable job experience.
“After about five years, it no longer matters where you acquired your academic qualifications from. What counts is how you have done on the job,” says Mukerji. However, there are some exceptions. One, the networks you have built in college can be leveraged. The college networks of alumni of the Backwaters Institute of Management exist, but they don’t extend so far or so deep. Secondly, several institutions — though their numbers have come down — prefer the old school tie and elite college background. In such places, your degree acts as a talisman even decades into your job.
There is one more time your college degree may come into play: when you are out of a job and need to send your CVs. But if you are in such a situation, there must be a bigger problem somewhere. It may be a heartless thing to say, but the cannon fodder of corporate life normally have themselves to blame for being in the firing line.
School dropouts
Albert Einstein
Henry Ford
The Wright Brothers
Thomas Edison
College dropouts
Bill Gates
Steve Jobs
Micheal Dell
Ted turner
Steve Ballmer
Richard Branson
Larry Ellison
This article in a recent newspaper shows , that maybe there is something wrong in the system...
On the other hand, you have a galaxy of school and college dropouts who have been very successful in life. The members of this tribe include Bill Gates of Microsoft (until recently the world’s richest man). The Indians on the list include professionals of the likes of Securities & Exchange Board of India (SEBI) chairman M. Damodaran, who studied for a while at the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) before deciding to quit because it was not his cup of tea (he, however, has a graduate degree).
So does a college degree or a good academic record matter in an individual’s professional life? Does Oxbridge or the Ivy League (with apologies to all those who contend that they don’t give you any education, but are simply old boys’ clubs and network channels) equip you better for the job market? Does an Indian Institute of Management tag mean that you can strategise better than a trader’s son from Tinsukia?
“The first issue to be disposed of when you are asking such questions is the sort of job you are talking about,” says P. Mukerji, a Mumbai-based HR practitioner. “If you are inheriting your papa’s property — whether it is a rundown workshop or the country’s largest company — it doesn’t remotely matter what letters you can attach to your name. The degrees count when you are a professional approaching the job market.”
Mukerji is a bit of a cynic when he considers the sort of education doled out in even the best of institutes, be it Indian or foreign. “These institutes simply act as sieves,” he says. “When you hire someone from IIT, you know he or she has passed through one tough entrance exam. When you hire someone from IIT and IIM, you can be doubly sure for the same reason.”
But, as you progress in life, where you started from becomes increasingly irrelevant. In fact, there is a sort of reverse snobbery about it. Talk to a tech success in the US, and he will take great pride in telling you that he comes from the boondocks in Bihar. If he happens to have done his schooling from a top-notch institution in Calcutta or Mumbai, he keeps quiet about it. Like Dick Whittington, the longer the distance you travel, the more you can boast about it.
There is a difference, however, in the degrees or qualifications you acquire after you have taken up a job. Refresher courses always work better because you have a clearer picture of what you need to help you in your career. This is also the reason that many top institutes, for instance the Indian School of Business, Hyderabad, prefer students with considerable job experience.
“After about five years, it no longer matters where you acquired your academic qualifications from. What counts is how you have done on the job,” says Mukerji. However, there are some exceptions. One, the networks you have built in college can be leveraged. The college networks of alumni of the Backwaters Institute of Management exist, but they don’t extend so far or so deep. Secondly, several institutions — though their numbers have come down — prefer the old school tie and elite college background. In such places, your degree acts as a talisman even decades into your job.
There is one more time your college degree may come into play: when you are out of a job and need to send your CVs. But if you are in such a situation, there must be a bigger problem somewhere. It may be a heartless thing to say, but the cannon fodder of corporate life normally have themselves to blame for being in the firing line.
School dropouts
Albert Einstein
Henry Ford
The Wright Brothers
Thomas Edison
College dropouts
Bill Gates
Steve Jobs
Micheal Dell
Ted turner
Steve Ballmer
Richard Branson
Larry Ellison
This article in a recent newspaper shows , that maybe there is something wrong in the system...
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Objects
"You guyz consider girls an object"
This is what the thought implies... It is said in various forms by girls...
Dont they... And yet i feel this is perfectly right... I, and maybe many others consider girl as an object...
Because , there is no Humanity left maybe... Because they act like so "far-away"... Because there is too much attitude or wtvr... Because many of the things i said in my earlier post "One Question"
And still after so much humiliation , they expect us to treat them as normal humans..
I might die of laughing... Maybe with a normal friend you can talk like u feel... like one person communicates with another... But with girls , u have to be precise about wht u speak... take care how fast or slow you are...
I sometimes get a feeling as if i m giving input or smthn to a computer , and the reply by the object ( girl in this case ) is like the output... Till you r engaging a conv. , its on... when u cease to try .. the end...
This is not a generalization plz... this is my personal experience...
And i dont think i have met enuf girls to generalize for all of them...
Maybe some ppl wud relate to this...
This is what the thought implies... It is said in various forms by girls...
Dont they... And yet i feel this is perfectly right... I, and maybe many others consider girl as an object...
Because , there is no Humanity left maybe... Because they act like so "far-away"... Because there is too much attitude or wtvr... Because many of the things i said in my earlier post "One Question"
And still after so much humiliation , they expect us to treat them as normal humans..
I might die of laughing... Maybe with a normal friend you can talk like u feel... like one person communicates with another... But with girls , u have to be precise about wht u speak... take care how fast or slow you are...
I sometimes get a feeling as if i m giving input or smthn to a computer , and the reply by the object ( girl in this case ) is like the output... Till you r engaging a conv. , its on... when u cease to try .. the end...
This is not a generalization plz... this is my personal experience...
And i dont think i have met enuf girls to generalize for all of them...
Maybe some ppl wud relate to this...
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Character
In the constant process of thinking...
We turn up with unexpected logical results...
So, once while thinking about XYZ.. i wandered to Character..
And i realized its one of the most commonly used word... nd '-less' is also used widely..
But what does it mean??
Well i dont have a answer! But i have a quasi answer
Maybe we can assume it to be a Jigsaw Puzzle. Many of the important parts are found in the childhood. But we never finish it till we die.
We just keep building it.
Every new thought, every action can act as a part of it. I , myself , try to fit in different parts... by different actions to see which one might work out!!
And sometimes years later , i realize maybe it wasnt right at all.
So maybe it aint rite to say , that you cant change your life, your habits , your character in later stages of life. Maybe you can, if you find the right piece.
We turn up with unexpected logical results...
So, once while thinking about XYZ.. i wandered to Character..
And i realized its one of the most commonly used word... nd '-less' is also used widely..
But what does it mean??
Well i dont have a answer! But i have a quasi answer
Maybe we can assume it to be a Jigsaw Puzzle. Many of the important parts are found in the childhood. But we never finish it till we die.
We just keep building it.
Every new thought, every action can act as a part of it. I , myself , try to fit in different parts... by different actions to see which one might work out!!
And sometimes years later , i realize maybe it wasnt right at all.
So maybe it aint rite to say , that you cant change your life, your habits , your character in later stages of life. Maybe you can, if you find the right piece.
One Question?
Its one of common thoughts among boyz... But mostly left unsaid...
Cuz its one thing to think.. nd other to make your thoughts public..
It was also my Orkut about me...
Girls...
Is it against their nature to start a conversation... Why do we have to run after them always...
I have had enough of msgn,scrappin,callin nd sayin d same thing "Hi..Wsup"
I m fed-up...even with girls whom i know...
Its like tryng to break steel with pencil...
This time...I wait...You make the first move!!or just leave me alone
This message is not intended for everyone
You can ask yourself...whether you should be are the one pointed to?"
Now how many of us have been through this... many i guess...
Its like a situation that continiously happens , and makes u feel sick of either urself or the person whoz acting weird..
Its as if they show that you dont exist... We all want to make our existence felt somehow...So its one of the worst experiences when you aint acknowldged...
It happens with me too... and i have taken in meekly at times...
but till when will i sell my dignity for the sake of making some new friends ( girl-friends if u mite call them )...
Enough.. For once you have to stand up for yourself... you have to rise against the system.. and maybe i would face dire consequences too...Like most ppl who read the above lines might think that they are being targeted and would distance from me... which has already happened...
But this one time... NOTHING ELSE MATTERS...
Cuz its one thing to think.. nd other to make your thoughts public..
It was also my Orkut about me...
Girls...
Is it against their nature to start a conversation... Why do we have to run after them always...
I have had enough of msgn,scrappin,callin nd sayin d same thing "Hi..Wsup"
I m fed-up...even with girls whom i know...
Its like tryng to break steel with pencil...
This time...I wait...You make the first move!!or just leave me alone
This message is not intended for everyone
You can ask yourself...whether you should be are the one pointed to?"
Now how many of us have been through this... many i guess...
Its like a situation that continiously happens , and makes u feel sick of either urself or the person whoz acting weird..
Its as if they show that you dont exist... We all want to make our existence felt somehow...So its one of the worst experiences when you aint acknowldged...
It happens with me too... and i have taken in meekly at times...
but till when will i sell my dignity for the sake of making some new friends ( girl-friends if u mite call them )...
Enough.. For once you have to stand up for yourself... you have to rise against the system.. and maybe i would face dire consequences too...Like most ppl who read the above lines might think that they are being targeted and would distance from me... which has already happened...
But this one time... NOTHING ELSE MATTERS...
Sunday, August 26, 2007
What i Breathe
No wonder , i can see just black
There aint any other color
The darkness of hate
Inching closer every second
I try to look beyond
paralaysed by it
i fall down
and that's the last
i eat hate
i dirnk revenge
i breathe jealousy
BUT why do you do such things
anger impairs my judgement
I try to live, i try to succeed
but some choose the short way too
it might be wrong , but who cares
i got my prize , they say
and what happens to those who dont
who could, but left behind
therez an anguish in my eyes
wishing i can improve the world
but the prize is gone..
yet another motive to live ceases to exist
but its just my concern, aint it
to you, all others are enemy
In moments such, therez a need
of someone close-by , who 'd speak softly
but that too aint my fate
swept alone by the tide
therez no end..
its a part of life..
nd it goes on..
we always continue to strife...
maybe someday , wen all play fair
i might still be able to win..
There aint any other color
The darkness of hate
Inching closer every second
I try to look beyond
paralaysed by it
i fall down
and that's the last
i eat hate
i dirnk revenge
i breathe jealousy
BUT why do you do such things
anger impairs my judgement
I try to live, i try to succeed
but some choose the short way too
it might be wrong , but who cares
i got my prize , they say
and what happens to those who dont
who could, but left behind
therez an anguish in my eyes
wishing i can improve the world
but the prize is gone..
yet another motive to live ceases to exist
but its just my concern, aint it
to you, all others are enemy
In moments such, therez a need
of someone close-by , who 'd speak softly
but that too aint my fate
swept alone by the tide
therez no end..
its a part of life..
nd it goes on..
we always continue to strife...
maybe someday , wen all play fair
i might still be able to win..
Monday, July 2, 2007
Smile :)
Sweet maybe the smile
i carry on my lips
soul equally bitter
blocked is my voice
need just a tear
smile chains my mouth...
so much remains unsaid
the poison inundating my blood stream
grows stronger by the second
where should i move
why i am stuck
where is the light
to show me my way
to move forward i have to bet all i have
to move backward i have to bet tthing i might have had
to remain stuck i have neither past or future
all this with a smile :) chained
the end maybe near
who should i ask for help...
them who are too busy
or them who are too far
or maybe those who are not intrested
or those who dont know what friendship is
where are those who care
the questions remain unanswered
the poison still swirling
the tears still choked
the smile also chained
who cares!!
i carry on my lips
soul equally bitter
blocked is my voice
need just a tear
smile chains my mouth...
so much remains unsaid
the poison inundating my blood stream
grows stronger by the second
where should i move
why i am stuck
where is the light
to show me my way
to move forward i have to bet all i have
to move backward i have to bet tthing i might have had
to remain stuck i have neither past or future
all this with a smile :) chained
the end maybe near
who should i ask for help...
them who are too busy
or them who are too far
or maybe those who are not intrested
or those who dont know what friendship is
where are those who care
the questions remain unanswered
the poison still swirling
the tears still choked
the smile also chained
who cares!!
Sunday, May 27, 2007
A passing thought
THOUGHT OF SOMETHING...
Not every question has a answer?
But yet every answer has a question
so maybe we should not ask why it happened to you...
but think whatever happened to u , must have happened fr sm good...
srch for the answer...the good... not the qs why??
Not every question has a answer?
But yet every answer has a question
so maybe we should not ask why it happened to you...
but think whatever happened to u , must have happened fr sm good...
srch for the answer...the good... not the qs why??
Saturday, May 26, 2007
My Little Pink World
TURMOIL FILLED UP IN MY HEAD
MAYBE I SHOULD PEN IT DOWN
CANT FIND WORDS TO EXPRESS
MAYBE THE PENCIL MIGHT WORK SOME MAGIC
YEAH I WAS AMAZED A FEW YRS BACK
TO FIND SOMEONE I NEEDED TO FIND
THE FEELINGS NOURISHED , THE FRIENDHIP FLOURISHED
THE PEAK WAS TOO LOW
IT ARRIVED SOON THINGS WENT DOWNHILL THEN
A LITTLE STABLE NEAR THE BOTTOM IT REMAINED
THE YRS FORGOT THE FRIEND
BUT ONCE A YEAR , WE SPOKE
OUT OF WHAT WAS, BUT NEVER MIGHT BE
AND NOW AS WE LEARN WITH TIME
SEEING THE FRIEND AGAIN, I KNOW NOW WHY
I MISSED HER, FOR SHE WAS THE FIRST ONE
TO KNOW ME, BE THERE FOR ME , WHEN I HAD NONE
THERE IS SOMETHING THAT STILL PULLS
ME TO NO-WHERE
SOMEWHERE I HAVE BEEN BEFORE BY THE SAME PULL
WHAT DRIVES ME I M UNABLE TO FIND
JUST HVE A DAY OR TWO BEFORE IT VANISHES
BUT WHAT'S THE REASON BEHIND THIS
THE SIMPLE WHY ? STILL AMAZES ME
MAYBE I SHOULD PEN IT DOWN
CANT FIND WORDS TO EXPRESS
MAYBE THE PENCIL MIGHT WORK SOME MAGIC
YEAH I WAS AMAZED A FEW YRS BACK
TO FIND SOMEONE I NEEDED TO FIND
THE FEELINGS NOURISHED , THE FRIENDHIP FLOURISHED
THE PEAK WAS TOO LOW
IT ARRIVED SOON THINGS WENT DOWNHILL THEN
A LITTLE STABLE NEAR THE BOTTOM IT REMAINED
THE YRS FORGOT THE FRIEND
BUT ONCE A YEAR , WE SPOKE
OUT OF WHAT WAS, BUT NEVER MIGHT BE
AND NOW AS WE LEARN WITH TIME
SEEING THE FRIEND AGAIN, I KNOW NOW WHY
I MISSED HER, FOR SHE WAS THE FIRST ONE
TO KNOW ME, BE THERE FOR ME , WHEN I HAD NONE
THERE IS SOMETHING THAT STILL PULLS
ME TO NO-WHERE
SOMEWHERE I HAVE BEEN BEFORE BY THE SAME PULL
WHAT DRIVES ME I M UNABLE TO FIND
JUST HVE A DAY OR TWO BEFORE IT VANISHES
BUT WHAT'S THE REASON BEHIND THIS
THE SIMPLE WHY ? STILL AMAZES ME
Friday, May 18, 2007
Friends??
I have a habit of imagining things way into future ...
like thinking of my first job when i have just entered IIT...
the same way i also think about alternative events...
And one such event is What would life be without no friends...
For that we need to understand what a friend is...
But how to understand that when you dont even have a friend... Tough one...
Lets just assume a friend is person...whom you can remember without a hint of formality or guilty-ness ...
Now there have been times when i have had no friends...
there have been some people i can call... but really when i close my eyes and ask myself what have i acheived all this years ..the 18 years of my life...
What can i say is my achievement?
Studies...well maybe...but i never loved them...but i did it to have a sense of usefulness among my VIRTUAL friends...
But have i managed to make friends....that might last a lifetime??
Well whenever i meet new people...and i become good friend with them...i feel yes here is a person i can call my friend all my life... but sooner or later...when ways part...people grow up...taking time out for friends becomes tough... and then we become just mere acquaintances .... but friends...nah!!!
There came a time once...
when i made a list of all the people i was in touch with...my friends...
and was particularly upset about a recent incident...
and thought of whom i felt like taling to... Slowly i crossed off the names... and was left with 1-2 people...
and among them, when i called up...not one picked up the call at that time...
It might be that i wasnt able to be their friends... yeah it might be!!!
But isnt it possible , that their being busy...their growing up... their bf/gf became more important...
Isnt it possible, that i tried calling up... but if they didnt pick up... they could at least call up some other time.... isnt it needed that both side try to keep in touch , when friends are far away...
Maybe not...or Maybe yes!!!
I wont answer that...
But to quote one of the such virtual friends...
"Yaar i am just too busy with my classes and colleges that i cant be in touch with any1...and waise bhi we chat online sometimes...so what's the point of calling...kya baat karenge!!...."
like thinking of my first job when i have just entered IIT...
the same way i also think about alternative events...
And one such event is What would life be without no friends...
For that we need to understand what a friend is...
But how to understand that when you dont even have a friend... Tough one...
Lets just assume a friend is person...whom you can remember without a hint of formality or guilty-ness ...
Now there have been times when i have had no friends...
there have been some people i can call... but really when i close my eyes and ask myself what have i acheived all this years ..the 18 years of my life...
What can i say is my achievement?
Studies...well maybe...but i never loved them...but i did it to have a sense of usefulness among my VIRTUAL friends...
But have i managed to make friends....that might last a lifetime??
Well whenever i meet new people...and i become good friend with them...i feel yes here is a person i can call my friend all my life... but sooner or later...when ways part...people grow up...taking time out for friends becomes tough... and then we become just mere acquaintances .... but friends...nah!!!
There came a time once...
when i made a list of all the people i was in touch with...my friends...
and was particularly upset about a recent incident...
and thought of whom i felt like taling to... Slowly i crossed off the names... and was left with 1-2 people...
and among them, when i called up...not one picked up the call at that time...
It might be that i wasnt able to be their friends... yeah it might be!!!
But isnt it possible , that their being busy...their growing up... their bf/gf became more important...
Isnt it possible, that i tried calling up... but if they didnt pick up... they could at least call up some other time.... isnt it needed that both side try to keep in touch , when friends are far away...
Maybe not...or Maybe yes!!!
I wont answer that...
But to quote one of the such virtual friends...
"Yaar i am just too busy with my classes and colleges that i cant be in touch with any1...and waise bhi we chat online sometimes...so what's the point of calling...kya baat karenge!!...."
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
EXAM DIARY part2
Well CS101 went gr8 the next day...mainly cuz the last yr ppr was almst repeated..so i felt i mite get 110/120 ... but the happiness was never meant to be... just when we were reeling under shock of Maths.. came another shock... the paper was to be re-scheduled for the 2nd of May...a public holiday... y..no formal reasons..but looks sm1 who didnt see last yr's ppr had complained
What could be done now , newyz.. Maths came and went...The pain didn't even seem to register now...It was like we were like zombies..pushing thru the papers...with no sense at all...Maths was not a disaster..but not gud also...
Then the CS repaper..Well this one was a disaster...a terrible one...and the lack of understanding about what has to be studied for the net paper tmrw of Mechanics has added to the unbearable sickening nd stress of fucked up mind..
I dunno how i am managing to walk... but i have left all hope for ME..nd maybe by god's grace , i wud scrape thru...
What could be done now , newyz.. Maths came and went...The pain didn't even seem to register now...It was like we were like zombies..pushing thru the papers...with no sense at all...Maths was not a disaster..but not gud also...
Then the CS repaper..Well this one was a disaster...a terrible one...and the lack of understanding about what has to be studied for the net paper tmrw of Mechanics has added to the unbearable sickening nd stress of fucked up mind..
I dunno how i am managing to walk... but i have left all hope for ME..nd maybe by god's grace , i wud scrape thru...
Sunday, April 29, 2007
EXAM DIARY
Yes its been a long time since i could overcome my laziness...
nd write once again....but well papers are going on...
This is the same story as of all us have mostly ,quite similar to the other papers in IIT...but its worse this time
I had not even attended a single class mentally in last 3 months / 4 months sem...nd only 5 classes physically in the same period..now when i sit down to study..i feel like i m studying a toally new subject for the first time..nd given 1 day or so to prepare it gets real tough...BT101 was hard part..its over now...
WTF...W->Why ..do i have to study biotechnology when i m as intrstd in it as i wud be in siberia's politics...
Now to CS101..in which i have to save my ass somehow...Cuz even though i am good a t programming that a*****e wud ask such questions that wud confues even the best...But still , i m much better prepared this time though than mid-sem...
Mugging up a few days b4 ppr...scrapping thru...wht is this... is this learning?? i dont feel so... so why bother right!!!
SAB MOH MAYA HAI
nd write once again....but well papers are going on...
This is the same story as of all us have mostly ,quite similar to the other papers in IIT...but its worse this time
I had not even attended a single class mentally in last 3 months / 4 months sem...nd only 5 classes physically in the same period..now when i sit down to study..i feel like i m studying a toally new subject for the first time..nd given 1 day or so to prepare it gets real tough...BT101 was hard part..its over now...
WTF...W->Why ..do i have to study biotechnology when i m as intrstd in it as i wud be in siberia's politics...
Now to CS101..in which i have to save my ass somehow...Cuz even though i am good a t programming that a*****e wud ask such questions that wud confues even the best...But still , i m much better prepared this time though than mid-sem...
Mugging up a few days b4 ppr...scrapping thru...wht is this... is this learning?? i dont feel so... so why bother right!!!
SAB MOH MAYA HAI
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Its raining again!!
Drenched in Rain, was I
Tears did Run, mixed with rain
Yet there was a hope of good
in the surrounding clouds of pain
Then came th golden sunlight
It spoke to me , You have waited Long my son
Now is your time , Go be yourself
Happiness is the key to living
A wave of emotions swept over me
There was hope...Happiness too
Mixed with it was relief..
but still scared of the world
'Go be yourself', I took the cue
I relaxed , lay down my guard
In hope of a better world
Broke the walls around me
So that everyone would see
What i really wanted to be
Soon i was enveloped in warmth
A feeling new to me
I felt alittle love too
Believed in new things
Black and white turned colorful
dead flowers blossomed again
there was a smile on my face
I talked a lot
about things i didnt even know
The poison seeped out
The love creeps in
Choking was I ,
am living now
Tears did Run, mixed with rain
Yet there was a hope of good
in the surrounding clouds of pain
Then came th golden sunlight
It spoke to me , You have waited Long my son
Now is your time , Go be yourself
Happiness is the key to living
A wave of emotions swept over me
There was hope...Happiness too
Mixed with it was relief..
but still scared of the world
'Go be yourself', I took the cue
I relaxed , lay down my guard
In hope of a better world
Broke the walls around me
So that everyone would see
What i really wanted to be
Soon i was enveloped in warmth
A feeling new to me
I felt alittle love too
Believed in new things
Black and white turned colorful
dead flowers blossomed again
there was a smile on my face
I talked a lot
about things i didnt even know
The poison seeped out
The love creeps in
Choking was I ,
am living now
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Opposite Things!!
Well I wanted to write on this for a long time , but never found the proper words…
Even this is very raw work but here it is .Its basically based on Duality ... Intuition... Reason
There is a concept of positive.. But to match it there is a equal and opposite concept of negative
There is a concept of good.. But a equal and opposite concept of Bad...
There is Day.. but so is night
And like them there are thousands of examples of this duality... Its not always about one being positive influence..and other being negative... sometimes both are good... The point i want to stress is on the need, the reason for such existence...
What would have happened , had there existed no bad in our lives???? Maybe then we wouldn't really understand life, and when it did come we would have been helpless .. Life would have been utterly incomplete.. and also the importance of good would never be ascertained...
What would have happened , had there been only negative numbers in maths?? .. Then if there did come postive numbers... it wud be called a irrational concept... and of course there would be no zero maybe...
In short.. without the one ... the 2nd is incomplete....its importance is reduced... and life becomes hard to visualize...
But when god created male... the female was created... Could it also be a principle of dual-existence ... I believe so !!
God never created any discrimination between them... and till it was so... things would have been different... but since a long time... or as much time as we had good knowledge about things havent been so...
And so if i believe .. that to be a sane person.. it is necessary to have equal interaction with both girls and boyz.. do I have wrong beliefs... but when I reflect on my past nd my present , It is like i have had 90% interaction wid guyz...
So is it not bound that i might be insane.. i definitely think i am , just a little bit ... When i realized this problem in my life , i set about trying to figure out a way... and the only outcome was to have increased interaction with girls...
Is it wrong having girls as friends??... I should never have felt so ... But well i was made to believe so [since the time i began to understand the difference between boys and girls ]...mostly by the girls.. [Once in kota...i tried talking to girl.. just casually asked wdr she wud like to be a friend... and she said y? ... i had never before encountered this question... and was caught speechless...]
This kind of attitude ... and me becoming a little insane , has fueled the nervousness that i feel in front of alien creature called GIRL ... and now that i try to fight out this disease in my system ... even my friends (..or those who were ..) behaved oddly...
The only thing I wish is that people understand , that if I try to talk to a girl , it is the same as I want to behave had she been a boy … but due to different circumstances ..there creeps up a lot of unwanted nervousness… that is misunderstood
Inspite of some hard times ..I have not yet lost the will of trying... and i get some good...some bad results...but life is improving...
I am a little more human and sane creature than a year before...
Even this is very raw work but here it is .Its basically based on Duality ... Intuition... Reason
There is a concept of positive.. But to match it there is a equal and opposite concept of negative
There is a concept of good.. But a equal and opposite concept of Bad...
There is Day.. but so is night
And like them there are thousands of examples of this duality... Its not always about one being positive influence..and other being negative... sometimes both are good... The point i want to stress is on the need, the reason for such existence...
What would have happened , had there existed no bad in our lives???? Maybe then we wouldn't really understand life, and when it did come we would have been helpless .. Life would have been utterly incomplete.. and also the importance of good would never be ascertained...
What would have happened , had there been only negative numbers in maths?? .. Then if there did come postive numbers... it wud be called a irrational concept... and of course there would be no zero maybe...
In short.. without the one ... the 2nd is incomplete....its importance is reduced... and life becomes hard to visualize...
But when god created male... the female was created... Could it also be a principle of dual-existence ... I believe so !!
God never created any discrimination between them... and till it was so... things would have been different... but since a long time... or as much time as we had good knowledge about things havent been so...
And so if i believe .. that to be a sane person.. it is necessary to have equal interaction with both girls and boyz.. do I have wrong beliefs... but when I reflect on my past nd my present , It is like i have had 90% interaction wid guyz...
So is it not bound that i might be insane.. i definitely think i am , just a little bit ... When i realized this problem in my life , i set about trying to figure out a way... and the only outcome was to have increased interaction with girls...
Is it wrong having girls as friends??... I should never have felt so ... But well i was made to believe so [since the time i began to understand the difference between boys and girls ]...mostly by the girls.. [Once in kota...i tried talking to girl.. just casually asked wdr she wud like to be a friend... and she said y? ... i had never before encountered this question... and was caught speechless...]
This kind of attitude ... and me becoming a little insane , has fueled the nervousness that i feel in front of alien creature called GIRL ... and now that i try to fight out this disease in my system ... even my friends (..or those who were ..) behaved oddly...
The only thing I wish is that people understand , that if I try to talk to a girl , it is the same as I want to behave had she been a boy … but due to different circumstances ..there creeps up a lot of unwanted nervousness… that is misunderstood
Inspite of some hard times ..I have not yet lost the will of trying... and i get some good...some bad results...but life is improving...
I am a little more human and sane creature than a year before...
Saturday, April 14, 2007
You can do anything!
Earlier I was very shy and unsure and at times not self-confident in life.
There were various reasons for this ... some of which i wont like to disclose... one of them , though , was my friend circle at times...
those guyz wid so much style.. i felt out of place
Well coming to the point now , as i found out it was a flaw in my character ...
so i decided to work on it... and thereby have noticed improvement...
some of the things that i felt nd did...
1. Believe in your self and your ability
2. Run your own race
Run your own race
Run your own race
Run your own race
Its like a medicine... it makes you feel better
3. I realized the importance of fact , that
" Whenever you want something , the whole universe conspires in its favour "
4. I was generally and still am shy ..lil nervous with the girls... the reason being , my lack of interaction with them , over the past few years...
that makes me more nervous... and to overcome this nervousness i build a wall around myself... thus even less intercation.. more solid wall... and its kind of vicious cycle...
But well now point no.2 helped me come out of it...
5. There is nothing like a good walk alone to sort out even the most confusing situations... maybe there is... discussing with your best frn... the luxury of which i dont have as of now...
6. The society... would always pull you down..
more than half of the girls will make you feel small...very small....
so best way ...just fuck them...
Be yourself.... dont bother about them...
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS
7.friends are life...without them everything is useless... and empty
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS...HAVE GOOD FRNS
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS...HAVE GOOD FRNS
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS...HAVE GOOD FRNS
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS...HAVE GOOD FRNS
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS...HAVE GOOD FRNS
8.A single word...a single line...a single second...can break you into pieces...and to rejoin them back would take years...
i am lucky... that most of the tries to break me have been unsuccessful... some of them partially doing damage..
but never let anyone tell you... THAT YOU CANT DO ANYTHING!!!
There were various reasons for this ... some of which i wont like to disclose... one of them , though , was my friend circle at times...
those guyz wid so much style.. i felt out of place
Well coming to the point now , as i found out it was a flaw in my character ...
so i decided to work on it... and thereby have noticed improvement...
some of the things that i felt nd did...
1. Believe in your self and your ability
2. Run your own race
Run your own race
Run your own race
Run your own race
Its like a medicine... it makes you feel better
3. I realized the importance of fact , that
" Whenever you want something , the whole universe conspires in its favour "
4. I was generally and still am shy ..lil nervous with the girls... the reason being , my lack of interaction with them , over the past few years...
that makes me more nervous... and to overcome this nervousness i build a wall around myself... thus even less intercation.. more solid wall... and its kind of vicious cycle...
But well now point no.2 helped me come out of it...
5. There is nothing like a good walk alone to sort out even the most confusing situations... maybe there is... discussing with your best frn... the luxury of which i dont have as of now...
6. The society... would always pull you down..
more than half of the girls will make you feel small...very small....
so best way ...just fuck them...
Be yourself.... dont bother about them...
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS
7.friends are life...without them everything is useless... and empty
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS...HAVE GOOD FRNS
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS...HAVE GOOD FRNS
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS...HAVE GOOD FRNS
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS...HAVE GOOD FRNS
RUN YOUR OWN RACE...FUCK THE OTHERS...HAVE GOOD FRNS
8.A single word...a single line...a single second...can break you into pieces...and to rejoin them back would take years...
i am lucky... that most of the tries to break me have been unsuccessful... some of them partially doing damage..
but never let anyone tell you... THAT YOU CANT DO ANYTHING!!!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
I am helpless!!
Let me explain ... therez a person X
I dont like X i know...not that much... X is not d kind of person i like ,X is exactly opp to my priciple's... man she was d one who gave encouragement to sm1 she luvd ... the guy got srys...nd she also was srys..
But wen her marks came bad... her parents scolded her..gave her senti talk... she was brainwashed... nd she ditched 'sm1 she used to luv'... nd tht guy vaha uske liye sab chod raha .. god knows wht she wntd .. i hated her for this nd other things...
Yet i meet her... i even feel she is also not too interested in meeting me... shez tht cold nd indifferent kind...and yet i meet her... Y Y Y... dunno ...
Or m i trying to hide from myself... i met her that day... Jo kaam tha uska vo ho gaya tha... but wen she was going back .. i was sad... even though i shud hv tght gud riddance... i am not sure y..
But maybe i felt ...even if unwanted i was gettin to meet a girl... at least i wud undrstnd what the creature called girl is ...
at least i wudnt become inhumane like in kota...widout any girls... and so hw'vr i hated her.. i liked meetin her... but tht day was d last time i met her i think.. now i wont get to meet her... she wont meet newyz... i m scared will tht old helplessness come back...
i dunno... lets c wht hppns... wht'vr future has for me..i guess it wud be good...
I dont like X i know...not that much... X is not d kind of person i like ,X is exactly opp to my priciple's... man she was d one who gave encouragement to sm1 she luvd ... the guy got srys...nd she also was srys..
But wen her marks came bad... her parents scolded her..gave her senti talk... she was brainwashed... nd she ditched 'sm1 she used to luv'... nd tht guy vaha uske liye sab chod raha .. god knows wht she wntd .. i hated her for this nd other things...
Yet i meet her... i even feel she is also not too interested in meeting me... shez tht cold nd indifferent kind...and yet i meet her... Y Y Y... dunno ...
Or m i trying to hide from myself... i met her that day... Jo kaam tha uska vo ho gaya tha... but wen she was going back .. i was sad... even though i shud hv tght gud riddance... i am not sure y..
But maybe i felt ...even if unwanted i was gettin to meet a girl... at least i wud undrstnd what the creature called girl is ...
at least i wudnt become inhumane like in kota...widout any girls... and so hw'vr i hated her.. i liked meetin her... but tht day was d last time i met her i think.. now i wont get to meet her... she wont meet newyz... i m scared will tht old helplessness come back...
i dunno... lets c wht hppns... wht'vr future has for me..i guess it wud be good...
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Reason with me
Hmm...Blogging has become more tough than i thought...cuz i m running out of ideas to write about... most of it center about love... and views change about it everyday
Well since few months... i have become Vela...ultimate cool for some... cool beyong stupidity for some others... cuz i hv stopped worrying abt shit...Shit like studies...and other stuff.... I had lost my enthusiasm for all this...
But few the reason for it.... Maybe i dont even know it... nd maybe by writing this i might understand more clearly...
Everything we do in life ..It has a purpose... but we dont realise it... small or big it might be...but there is some reason for it...even we eat for our living...but some might say we do many things just for no reason ...but for our satisfactionI guess that is the main reason of every action we take in life...
And what is Depression? when satisfaction doesnt matter ..In that case...evry action is boring stupid nd widout result...
And the same way , studies earlier had a purpose... To be a good student... den to prove a point to my parents... nd den to get into IIT..so tht i hv a good life... But now that i am here...and now that i have experienced the IIT teachers nd subjects... the reason..even the reason of satisfaction is gone...I have to study...to pass...and i can pass just by studyin a lil on my own at the end... and thus i have stopped attending classes...
I am continiously in actions, that give me satisfaction here... But alas! i havent found many..in fact i m just sure of one action... ADVENTUREi feel that this is the main time i can enjoy... that i can live life... after i get a job... WTF life wud i have... but the only thing that has prevented in making this activity my passion ...is that i am alone...in this..
There aint any1 who shares d passion of living ... having adventure..travelling...enjoying the b'ful nature... everyone is busy chasing his own goals nd targets... nd many are bogged down just by the surroundings and family... But now that i have decided to pursue my passion...my destiny myself...to be self-dependent... i feel free in mind and soul... even though i fear walking alone... but better fear and walk ...than sit forever...
Love was a passion too... but continious disappointment has led to its dying down.. Sometimes i feel whether i have lost d capacity to love.. wdr my hr8 had become a rock [;)]... but well another sentence i have had a strong belief in since my Breaking free is
" RUN YOUR OWN RACE , DONT BE PART OF D WORLD'S RACE "
Well since few months... i have become Vela...ultimate cool for some... cool beyong stupidity for some others... cuz i hv stopped worrying abt shit...Shit like studies...and other stuff.... I had lost my enthusiasm for all this...
But few the reason for it.... Maybe i dont even know it... nd maybe by writing this i might understand more clearly...
Everything we do in life ..It has a purpose... but we dont realise it... small or big it might be...but there is some reason for it...even we eat for our living...but some might say we do many things just for no reason ...but for our satisfactionI guess that is the main reason of every action we take in life...
And what is Depression? when satisfaction doesnt matter ..In that case...evry action is boring stupid nd widout result...
And the same way , studies earlier had a purpose... To be a good student... den to prove a point to my parents... nd den to get into IIT..so tht i hv a good life... But now that i am here...and now that i have experienced the IIT teachers nd subjects... the reason..even the reason of satisfaction is gone...I have to study...to pass...and i can pass just by studyin a lil on my own at the end... and thus i have stopped attending classes...
I am continiously in actions, that give me satisfaction here... But alas! i havent found many..in fact i m just sure of one action... ADVENTUREi feel that this is the main time i can enjoy... that i can live life... after i get a job... WTF life wud i have... but the only thing that has prevented in making this activity my passion ...is that i am alone...in this..
There aint any1 who shares d passion of living ... having adventure..travelling...enjoying the b'ful nature... everyone is busy chasing his own goals nd targets... nd many are bogged down just by the surroundings and family... But now that i have decided to pursue my passion...my destiny myself...to be self-dependent... i feel free in mind and soul... even though i fear walking alone... but better fear and walk ...than sit forever...
Love was a passion too... but continious disappointment has led to its dying down.. Sometimes i feel whether i have lost d capacity to love.. wdr my hr8 had become a rock [;)]... but well another sentence i have had a strong belief in since my Breaking free is
" RUN YOUR OWN RACE , DONT BE PART OF D WORLD'S RACE "
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Another post
Few days back , i was asked to send a somple courier . It was some sort of form . I thought it would be probably a easy work. So the next day i went to Guwahati city. I took the form (at my mama's office), filled it up , and addressed it. I left it at his office. I left then thinking that the job is now done. The courier would reach its destination . But well it was far from done.
After say 5 days , i got a call from my dad. He said the courier hadnt reached. Now i was well surprised , normal post apart , these days even couriers dont reach d destination. Strange!!
Now well i tried to trace down the courier... It was a relatively small courier , by which the letter was sent. And well i got to nothing. Next day i went to city again. I again filled the form . But this time i took the letter myself. Now the only thing left to do was to courier it.
But alas. It was the toughest job of all. I found out that all good couriers were at least 45 mins by Bus , the only one near was Speed-Post . And i was out of time . So i thought i would speed-post it from IIT itself. So i got back to IIT at 2 pm . And when i reached post-office at 2.15 . He told me that speed-post till only 1.45 ...Man this was truing out to be stupid .. i asked whether there was any other courier in IIT..he replied something ..but well i was not able to understand it...
By the evening i did find out that in fact there is another way of couriers..but it closed at 5.30 ... it was just 5.30 that time...So now all my hopes were on the next day...
So next morning , at 9 am i reached the Speed-Post office...but it was closed... at 11.30 i again went there..and then i came to know that it was a ASSAM BANDH today..so it would be closed ... i was so frustrated ... then at 2.30 pm i went to another courier office. It was Blue-Dart . So i waited 10 mins and then someone told me well the person would come at 4 pm ... i came back again at 4 pm ... again 4.30 time is given.. i come back at 4.50 pm ..
And then i am told that the person wont be able to come due to bandh ... well god knows i never hated couriers ever....So finally ...after lot of shit...i give it to someone else working in that deptt...and ask her to plz courier it the first thing tomorrow morning...and finally that courier left my hands...
And it was the most i have ever paid for the courier....wich was just one document .. Rs.65
From now on ... i would respect couriers...wich i had just taken for granted all my life...Another lesson learnt...
After say 5 days , i got a call from my dad. He said the courier hadnt reached. Now i was well surprised , normal post apart , these days even couriers dont reach d destination. Strange!!
Now well i tried to trace down the courier... It was a relatively small courier , by which the letter was sent. And well i got to nothing. Next day i went to city again. I again filled the form . But this time i took the letter myself. Now the only thing left to do was to courier it.
But alas. It was the toughest job of all. I found out that all good couriers were at least 45 mins by Bus , the only one near was Speed-Post . And i was out of time . So i thought i would speed-post it from IIT itself. So i got back to IIT at 2 pm . And when i reached post-office at 2.15 . He told me that speed-post till only 1.45 ...Man this was truing out to be stupid .. i asked whether there was any other courier in IIT..he replied something ..but well i was not able to understand it...
By the evening i did find out that in fact there is another way of couriers..but it closed at 5.30 ... it was just 5.30 that time...So now all my hopes were on the next day...
So next morning , at 9 am i reached the Speed-Post office...but it was closed... at 11.30 i again went there..and then i came to know that it was a ASSAM BANDH today..so it would be closed ... i was so frustrated ... then at 2.30 pm i went to another courier office. It was Blue-Dart . So i waited 10 mins and then someone told me well the person would come at 4 pm ... i came back again at 4 pm ... again 4.30 time is given.. i come back at 4.50 pm ..
And then i am told that the person wont be able to come due to bandh ... well god knows i never hated couriers ever....So finally ...after lot of shit...i give it to someone else working in that deptt...and ask her to plz courier it the first thing tomorrow morning...and finally that courier left my hands...
And it was the most i have ever paid for the courier....wich was just one document .. Rs.65
From now on ... i would respect couriers...wich i had just taken for granted all my life...Another lesson learnt...
Monday, April 2, 2007
View-point
Its been a few days since i last wrote...i had been thinking of a topic , all along , that influnces me and might influnce others too. But well i dont think i have found one.
We often never consider others view point on any particular topic . And if by chance you do start thinking about others view-point then you get all confused and amazed by what all negatives that might have been in your thoughts about that topic.
Let us say for example .My principle urrff philosophy is that not studying is the best possible way of relaxing . Because you are free from all sorts of tension that studies might give. Thus i have stopped attending lectures. But when i somehow manage to think the other way round . I found lots of flaws in this concept. I might say that it relieves you of your tension but well it creates so much emptiness that u are bound to do nothing but get bored...you think about all the shit...
A wisdom quote ..to end all dis crap
"When the student is ready , the teacher appears"
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Lying or Paying
These are some excerpts from a article i read
" A 27-year-old advertising professional from Delhi, is one such male who believes in hard work, hard cash, and holidays in Thailand, Amsterdam and Rio. He says with the excitement of a new convert, "Earlier, I would meet a pretty girl in the office and try to strike up a conversation.
It would take considerable effort to cut through her airs and graces and get talking. The topic of the conversation would be a pain to me, but I would pretend to enjoy every moment. After a few days she would be ready to go out for coffee. This would be followed by a mind-numbing movie. Then another round of coffee.
A month would have passed by now. I would still be in hot pursuit. A few weekends later would come the big day for dinner. After the dinner I would, chivalrously, drop her home. And the next day, just when I would expect my big moment to come, I would find her chatting animatedly with the idiot from marketing. What a waste of effort."
But success in love brings a new set of obstacles. "Many a times you do succeed. And you also end up making love. But then, very quickly, you also fall out of love and start fancying other girls.
And then it gets damn difficult to break free from the woman," says Soumik Naskar, an 18-year-old undergraduate student of information technology at the Government Engineering College, Kalyani, West Bengal. "It's being unfair to the woman. You know you are in it for sex. So why keep up the pretence? Why not go straight for the nookie by paying for it?"
The new experiment of Indian men with breaking away from social norms and finding love in the commercial place is at a higher state of evolution in the First World. According to a report which appeared in the British Medical Journal in 2005, the percentage of British men who paid for sex had increased from 5.6 in 1990 to 9 in 2000.
But the element of surprise lay in the details. It was not just the fat slob, the sex worker's client stereotype, who was visiting brothels. The study found an increasing number of successful, attractive men in their mid-twenties to mid-thirties opting to pay for intimacy.
Shekhar Verma, a student of advertising and public relations at the Indian Institute of Mass Communication, New Delhi, says, "In my institute, the boys are out to get the prettiest girls, while the girls are out to get the guys with the best bikes, best mobiles and rich dads. And there's no such thing as love. So if some men have stopped being hypocritical, what's wrong with it?"
The tragedy is, says Srivastava, "that though men appreciate the needs of women, women don't of men. They expect us to listen to and understand everything they say, but don't realise they are driving us crazy. Women simply rob you of your happiness. "
Now this article does not reflect my views about the issue . I feel this does happen but not with all girls. Only very few are like this .
But yeah i kind of believe in the principle. Some of the girls nowdayz reflect such absurd behaviour .They just want to flaunt attitude . They just look sometimes on the pockets , and other times on the face . They are too busy being snobbish.Even if you want to do friendship , you have to go through all the 'PROCESSES' of qualification by the girl .
So just for the sake of sex , you have to pretend to do so many things you hate to do . Some people manage to make all the sweet talk and get the best girls . But even they dont mean much . Still they get sex . And others still who are strong on their principles , might not be able to woo the girls . Thus they are branded as losers many-a-times.
When you can get love , friendship and intimacy for money , and without lying whole day , isnt it better just to pay up for sex. rather than just go through the stupid 'PROCESSES'
" A 27-year-old advertising professional from Delhi, is one such male who believes in hard work, hard cash, and holidays in Thailand, Amsterdam and Rio. He says with the excitement of a new convert, "Earlier, I would meet a pretty girl in the office and try to strike up a conversation.
It would take considerable effort to cut through her airs and graces and get talking. The topic of the conversation would be a pain to me, but I would pretend to enjoy every moment. After a few days she would be ready to go out for coffee. This would be followed by a mind-numbing movie. Then another round of coffee.
A month would have passed by now. I would still be in hot pursuit. A few weekends later would come the big day for dinner. After the dinner I would, chivalrously, drop her home. And the next day, just when I would expect my big moment to come, I would find her chatting animatedly with the idiot from marketing. What a waste of effort."
But success in love brings a new set of obstacles. "Many a times you do succeed. And you also end up making love. But then, very quickly, you also fall out of love and start fancying other girls.
And then it gets damn difficult to break free from the woman," says Soumik Naskar, an 18-year-old undergraduate student of information technology at the Government Engineering College, Kalyani, West Bengal. "It's being unfair to the woman. You know you are in it for sex. So why keep up the pretence? Why not go straight for the nookie by paying for it?"
The new experiment of Indian men with breaking away from social norms and finding love in the commercial place is at a higher state of evolution in the First World. According to a report which appeared in the British Medical Journal in 2005, the percentage of British men who paid for sex had increased from 5.6 in 1990 to 9 in 2000.
But the element of surprise lay in the details. It was not just the fat slob, the sex worker's client stereotype, who was visiting brothels. The study found an increasing number of successful, attractive men in their mid-twenties to mid-thirties opting to pay for intimacy.
Shekhar Verma, a student of advertising and public relations at the Indian Institute of Mass Communication, New Delhi, says, "In my institute, the boys are out to get the prettiest girls, while the girls are out to get the guys with the best bikes, best mobiles and rich dads. And there's no such thing as love. So if some men have stopped being hypocritical, what's wrong with it?"
The tragedy is, says Srivastava, "that though men appreciate the needs of women, women don't of men. They expect us to listen to and understand everything they say, but don't realise they are driving us crazy. Women simply rob you of your happiness. "
Now this article does not reflect my views about the issue . I feel this does happen but not with all girls. Only very few are like this .
But yeah i kind of believe in the principle. Some of the girls nowdayz reflect such absurd behaviour .They just want to flaunt attitude . They just look sometimes on the pockets , and other times on the face . They are too busy being snobbish.Even if you want to do friendship , you have to go through all the 'PROCESSES' of qualification by the girl .
So just for the sake of sex , you have to pretend to do so many things you hate to do . Some people manage to make all the sweet talk and get the best girls . But even they dont mean much . Still they get sex . And others still who are strong on their principles , might not be able to woo the girls . Thus they are branded as losers many-a-times.
When you can get love , friendship and intimacy for money , and without lying whole day , isnt it better just to pay up for sex. rather than just go through the stupid 'PROCESSES'
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Music
As new music is created every-day... so do my tastes and experiments with music change fast...
One of my all time favs is Aadat....i can listen it anytime...
but currently i m listening to raeth..bhula do... and backstreet boyz -never gone
raeth produces b'ful music... with guitar part the best... and lyrics to touch u..
listen to it sometime
One of my all time favs is Aadat....i can listen it anytime...
but currently i m listening to raeth..bhula do... and backstreet boyz -never gone
raeth produces b'ful music... with guitar part the best... and lyrics to touch u..
listen to it sometime
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
A day
I wake up in the morning...
See the sun shining bright...
A wave of happiness
passes by me...
I pray to god then...
to keep the day as beautiful...
as it is now...
maybe he/she would listen...
somedayz are not so good..
somedayz are not so bad..
but the only one i could tell...
is no one till the end..
sometimes i walk by the moonlight...
feeling the closeness with stars....
yes i have some-one to tell...
the moon, the night ...nd the dark...
i could be sad ...
for what i havent got...
but i am happy...
that maybe someone else has got my share...
coz to cry over lost things...
is waste of time ...
and time is life...
and therez no use wastin this b'ful life...
And when i switch off the light..
finally in the night...
i feel the sense of comfort..
with dreams engulfing me by...
yes now i would be united to my own-self...
cuz what i yearn for is nothing but a part of me...
See the sun shining bright...
A wave of happiness
passes by me...
I pray to god then...
to keep the day as beautiful...
as it is now...
maybe he/she would listen...
somedayz are not so good..
somedayz are not so bad..
but the only one i could tell...
is no one till the end..
sometimes i walk by the moonlight...
feeling the closeness with stars....
yes i have some-one to tell...
the moon, the night ...nd the dark...
i could be sad ...
for what i havent got...
but i am happy...
that maybe someone else has got my share...
coz to cry over lost things...
is waste of time ...
and time is life...
and therez no use wastin this b'ful life...
And when i switch off the light..
finally in the night...
i feel the sense of comfort..
with dreams engulfing me by...
yes now i would be united to my own-self...
cuz what i yearn for is nothing but a part of me...
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Wisdom Line
I found this quote on one of my frnz profile ...
" A ship is safest at the sea-shore , but that is not what it is built for "
sometimes a sentence can speak the whole wisdom of centuries preceding us , and this is one of them.
" A ship is safest at the sea-shore , but that is not what it is built for "
sometimes a sentence can speak the whole wisdom of centuries preceding us , and this is one of them.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Purpose
I sometimes seek a purpose... of creation or salvation or wt'vr 'ion ...
When its said that we orignate from the universe and end with it.. why are we created...
But it just so happened one day... dat i was walking simply.. and casually just broke off a leave from a tree... and i kept walking .. now walking is boring... so i started thinking... and once i got on the philosophical thinking... i suddenly got a though ..a idea...and it was startling...
It was based on concept of God.. so this explanation is for Theists..and also for Atheist's who might want to think unbiasedly...
Lets say a plant ... why is it here.. It grows from the soil...and after dying it is decomposed into it.. there is nothing .. no target it has to acheive.. then what is the reason of it being here... One possible explanation is that it is here to feed the human's ... for sustenance of life .. it is very necessary for plants to be there. So let's say even though a plant has a normal life..and no particular destiny for itself .. it is there for a higher cause ..for sustenance of human's
Now lets consider us as plants and universe as humans...
So for sustenance of universe ... we go through the cycle of life...but help in sustaining the universe...
Now if consider the universe to be a plant ... and god to be human ( not exactly ...)
Thus universe sustains god ...
SO maybe it might be possible that we go through the cycle of life so that god might continue to be present ... So that might be our purpose ...
I personally find this concept viable but not appealing to myself...
When its said that we orignate from the universe and end with it.. why are we created...
But it just so happened one day... dat i was walking simply.. and casually just broke off a leave from a tree... and i kept walking .. now walking is boring... so i started thinking... and once i got on the philosophical thinking... i suddenly got a though ..a idea...and it was startling...
It was based on concept of God.. so this explanation is for Theists..and also for Atheist's who might want to think unbiasedly...
Lets say a plant ... why is it here.. It grows from the soil...and after dying it is decomposed into it.. there is nothing .. no target it has to acheive.. then what is the reason of it being here... One possible explanation is that it is here to feed the human's ... for sustenance of life .. it is very necessary for plants to be there. So let's say even though a plant has a normal life..and no particular destiny for itself .. it is there for a higher cause ..for sustenance of human's
Now lets consider us as plants and universe as humans...
So for sustenance of universe ... we go through the cycle of life...but help in sustaining the universe...
Now if consider the universe to be a plant ... and god to be human ( not exactly ...)
Thus universe sustains god ...
SO maybe it might be possible that we go through the cycle of life so that god might continue to be present ... So that might be our purpose ...
I personally find this concept viable but not appealing to myself...
Friday, March 23, 2007
A Weekend in IIT G
A weekend in IITG...
For all those who dont know me...and reading IIT ... might be thinking... a weekend... means catching up with studies...studying for the next paper... completing reports... making projects...and if they get tym for reading some good techincal books...
Its not even .5% like this...
But first i need to find out what a weekend is????... If that's wen u dont have classes...i gotta weekend 5 days outta 7...( only me !! hehe)
But by conventional rules, the weekend starts on Fri Evng...
What all there is to do in a weekend...
Sleep ... I have done that whole week...
Movies... Same Shit Different Day...
Go to Guwahati City... the girls are beautiful...the malls are few...and coffee is acceptable... not much to look forward to...
Sports..nah i am not into that...
Music...maybe...i can listen to musik every second...
Studies... Dont even think about it... ;)
Internet... Yeah dat onez different... full day orkuttin...smthn different than weekdays.. :)
Reading..for me yes... but most consider it the worst way to spend a weekend...
TV ... heard of it somewhere...whatz this newyz???
And the whole weekend passes by speculating what shud be done on a weekend...
Any new suggestions ..feel free...even if they maybe weird...
For all those who dont know me...and reading IIT ... might be thinking... a weekend... means catching up with studies...studying for the next paper... completing reports... making projects...and if they get tym for reading some good techincal books...
Its not even .5% like this...
But first i need to find out what a weekend is????... If that's wen u dont have classes...i gotta weekend 5 days outta 7...( only me !! hehe)
But by conventional rules, the weekend starts on Fri Evng...
What all there is to do in a weekend...
Sleep ... I have done that whole week...
Movies... Same Shit Different Day...
Go to Guwahati City... the girls are beautiful...the malls are few...and coffee is acceptable... not much to look forward to...
Sports..nah i am not into that...
Music...maybe...i can listen to musik every second...
Studies... Dont even think about it... ;)
Internet... Yeah dat onez different... full day orkuttin...smthn different than weekdays.. :)
Reading..for me yes... but most consider it the worst way to spend a weekend...
TV ... heard of it somewhere...whatz this newyz???
And the whole weekend passes by speculating what shud be done on a weekend...
Any new suggestions ..feel free...even if they maybe weird...
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Life , somewhere far away!!!
There is a fundamental question , what is Life? Do we say all terrestrial bioforms to be life. Life could have some other meaning too.
Living Organisms are examples of organized energy and complexity. But then Crystals which are highly organized structures and can even reproduce are not considered as living .
All forms of life work on electromagnetic forces . But then a galaxy is also a gravitationally organized system . Is it living ? Even if it is , light would take say 100,000 years to cross Milky Way. So the thinking time of galaxy would be 100,000 years and other processes much slow to observe.
Another question is that does more life exist in universe ? There are 100 billion stars in a galaxy and there are about 100 billion galaxies . Now considering the huge number of stars , the total planets would be enormous . Even if the probability of an earth like planet being very very minute . Still it is possible that few planets like earth might exist where conditions are suitable for life.
So maybe there is someone out there waiting!!!!
Living Organisms are examples of organized energy and complexity. But then Crystals which are highly organized structures and can even reproduce are not considered as living .
All forms of life work on electromagnetic forces . But then a galaxy is also a gravitationally organized system . Is it living ? Even if it is , light would take say 100,000 years to cross Milky Way. So the thinking time of galaxy would be 100,000 years and other processes much slow to observe.
Another question is that does more life exist in universe ? There are 100 billion stars in a galaxy and there are about 100 billion galaxies . Now considering the huge number of stars , the total planets would be enormous . Even if the probability of an earth like planet being very very minute . Still it is possible that few planets like earth might exist where conditions are suitable for life.
So maybe there is someone out there waiting!!!!
Size , Density and 10^40
Now many of us do wonder , what the size of universe is? Most consider it to be infinite. But there infact exists a horizon , that can also be considered as the size of universe , because what happens out of this horizon cant be found out.
This horizon is like a spherical bubblie centred on earth , with a radius of 13.7 billion light years and expanding at at rate of light moving outwards.
The reason for this is that we currently can only view light coming from a object 13.7 billion light years as light oculd have travelled only that much distance as of yet. As time passes , more universe comes into our view.Anything beyond this region cannot affect as potentially no information can be transferred .
One important fact is that the density of universe needs to be less tahn 5 g/cm^3 . If its more than the gravity would crush it soon into nothing . But even if it very very less than this , than universe would expand very very fast and thus no stars or galaxies could form . Currently it is estimated to be at .0211 g/cm^3 .
IN 1974 , Stephen Hawking gave a new result that black holes are continiously emitting radiation . The radiation increases with mass increase . And as mass is related to area of the hole created due to gravitational distortion increase with time , the black slowly radiated away its mass and dies .
Now there is another very peculiar and stunning result . There is a ratio 10 ^40. Lets call it X
1.Now when we measure the ratio of strength of electromagnetic force to gravitational force among atoms . It is X
2.If we measure ratio of most largest unit of time ( age of universe @ 13.7 billion years ) and smallest time unit ( time period of oscillation of nuclei ) . It is X
3.If we compute the lifetime of a star on it is X times the fundamental subatomic units .
4. If we find out total number of atoms in our horizon ( limited universe ) it turns out to be X squared .
This horizon is like a spherical bubblie centred on earth , with a radius of 13.7 billion light years and expanding at at rate of light moving outwards.
The reason for this is that we currently can only view light coming from a object 13.7 billion light years as light oculd have travelled only that much distance as of yet. As time passes , more universe comes into our view.Anything beyond this region cannot affect as potentially no information can be transferred .
One important fact is that the density of universe needs to be less tahn 5 g/cm^3 . If its more than the gravity would crush it soon into nothing . But even if it very very less than this , than universe would expand very very fast and thus no stars or galaxies could form . Currently it is estimated to be at .0211 g/cm^3 .
IN 1974 , Stephen Hawking gave a new result that black holes are continiously emitting radiation . The radiation increases with mass increase . And as mass is related to area of the hole created due to gravitational distortion increase with time , the black slowly radiated away its mass and dies .
Now there is another very peculiar and stunning result . There is a ratio 10 ^40. Lets call it X
1.Now when we measure the ratio of strength of electromagnetic force to gravitational force among atoms . It is X
2.If we measure ratio of most largest unit of time ( age of universe @ 13.7 billion years ) and smallest time unit ( time period of oscillation of nuclei ) . It is X
3.If we compute the lifetime of a star on it is X times the fundamental subatomic units .
4. If we find out total number of atoms in our horizon ( limited universe ) it turns out to be X squared .
Reality...What is that??
Now Quamtum Theory and all such theores link to metaphysics and other fascinating concepts.
What is Reality ? It is a very intresting thought and subject to constant speculation.
Now when a particle explodes into 2 same mass particles , By laws of physics both should have equal velocity opp to each other. If they have spin , it should be equal and opposite. There is a device called Polariser , that orients the given light beam in a particular direction . A single photon might pass through it or it might not , with say equal probability . Now when a particle explodes into 2 photons in space , the 2 photons might be seprated by millions of miles . When one of this pair of photons is passed through a polariser , it may pass or it may not . Say it does .
But what about the second one . It also may pass or may not . But the astounding fact is that it does too always. That is both the photons show same behaviour with similar polariser even
though seprated by huge distance.
Quantum Theory predicts such phenomena and it is experimentally verified.
It says that all possible worlds are waves and they overlap each other. We cannot say anything about the state of a sub-atomic particle before observation .Only when the observation is made , do they seprate into distinct REALITY . Thus if we consider a sub-atomic particle it might be moving in 1 direction or other. Both worlds overlap . Only when we observe the system do we see which direction the movement is in. Only then does a reality materialises . Also the chance of a particular world becoming reality depends on PROBABILITY.
So is reality a concept appearing by our own observation . Appears to be so!!
This view of overlapping universe , only one being realized and others failed was given by Copenhangen. Another view of the reality , was given by Everest-DeWitt. It was used to explain Schrodinger's Cat Paradox much better.
Let's say a nuclei has a equal chance of decaying and not-decaying in 1 second.It is connected to hammer over a sealed box in which a cat is kept . If the nuclei decays , the hammer falls and capt is dead or if it doesnt the cat is alive . The expirement is turned on and switched off at 1s. What happened to Cat? We cant say . It is either dead or alive. Copenhangen view says that it is in a dead-alive state until a person observes it. There are various logical flaws in it . So according to Everest-DeWitt each of the 2 outcome happens in 2 different worlds . As soon as atom decays the world is split into 2 , one with each possible outcome.
Thus this theory says that universe is continiously splitting into stupendous number of universe every second and all possible outcomes are being realized somewhere. And that each of this universe combines to form a superspace.Thus there maybe some universe in which world war 3 has occured and no life is present . Some in which no world -war has occured and there is peace.
What is Reality ? It is a very intresting thought and subject to constant speculation.
Now when a particle explodes into 2 same mass particles , By laws of physics both should have equal velocity opp to each other. If they have spin , it should be equal and opposite. There is a device called Polariser , that orients the given light beam in a particular direction . A single photon might pass through it or it might not , with say equal probability . Now when a particle explodes into 2 photons in space , the 2 photons might be seprated by millions of miles . When one of this pair of photons is passed through a polariser , it may pass or it may not . Say it does .
But what about the second one . It also may pass or may not . But the astounding fact is that it does too always. That is both the photons show same behaviour with similar polariser even
though seprated by huge distance.
Quantum Theory predicts such phenomena and it is experimentally verified.
It says that all possible worlds are waves and they overlap each other. We cannot say anything about the state of a sub-atomic particle before observation .Only when the observation is made , do they seprate into distinct REALITY . Thus if we consider a sub-atomic particle it might be moving in 1 direction or other. Both worlds overlap . Only when we observe the system do we see which direction the movement is in. Only then does a reality materialises . Also the chance of a particular world becoming reality depends on PROBABILITY.
So is reality a concept appearing by our own observation . Appears to be so!!
This view of overlapping universe , only one being realized and others failed was given by Copenhangen. Another view of the reality , was given by Everest-DeWitt. It was used to explain Schrodinger's Cat Paradox much better.
Let's say a nuclei has a equal chance of decaying and not-decaying in 1 second.It is connected to hammer over a sealed box in which a cat is kept . If the nuclei decays , the hammer falls and capt is dead or if it doesnt the cat is alive . The expirement is turned on and switched off at 1s. What happened to Cat? We cant say . It is either dead or alive. Copenhangen view says that it is in a dead-alive state until a person observes it. There are various logical flaws in it . So according to Everest-DeWitt each of the 2 outcome happens in 2 different worlds . As soon as atom decays the world is split into 2 , one with each possible outcome.
Thus this theory says that universe is continiously splitting into stupendous number of universe every second and all possible outcomes are being realized somewhere. And that each of this universe combines to form a superspace.Thus there maybe some universe in which world war 3 has occured and no life is present . Some in which no world -war has occured and there is peace.
Energy: Really conserved?????
After Einstein's paper of light consisting of small packets of energy called photons , it was proven to show that Light showed Wave-Particle Dual nature. that is it behaves both like particle (photons) and also like waves ( by showing interference).
Then hesienberg showed that it is impossible to measure both position and momentum of particle simultaneously. That is if use measure position to very great accuracy then the error in measurement of momentum is very high. Also it is said that waves associated with electrons are probability waves giving prob'y of their position.These were some of the fundamental concepts of Quantum theory , which is now widely accepted to study sub-atomic particles.It is said that all a sub-atomic particle can have any possible position but the it depends on prob'y .
If we consider an infinite dimension vector space. And each direction as a possible world. Then in these infinite directions all possible outcomes of any given event occur. But the one that becomes the reality is the one with maximum probability.
Now another thing that comes from Heisenberg's Principle is that like position and momentum , energy and time cannot be measured accurately simultaneously. Thus if we measure the energy of a particle we take considerable amount of time (which is still very small considering a second ).
Now this concept provides a basis where the principle of conservation of energy is violated.It is highly possible that a particle can borrow energy from universe for some time and has to repay it in time inversely proportinal to energy borrowed. This concept can be used to easily understand why some electrons can tunnel through high barriers even though they dont have enough energy.It also helps to understand production of alpha rays.
Then hesienberg showed that it is impossible to measure both position and momentum of particle simultaneously. That is if use measure position to very great accuracy then the error in measurement of momentum is very high. Also it is said that waves associated with electrons are probability waves giving prob'y of their position.These were some of the fundamental concepts of Quantum theory , which is now widely accepted to study sub-atomic particles.It is said that all a sub-atomic particle can have any possible position but the it depends on prob'y .
If we consider an infinite dimension vector space. And each direction as a possible world. Then in these infinite directions all possible outcomes of any given event occur. But the one that becomes the reality is the one with maximum probability.
Now another thing that comes from Heisenberg's Principle is that like position and momentum , energy and time cannot be measured accurately simultaneously. Thus if we measure the energy of a particle we take considerable amount of time (which is still very small considering a second ).
Now this concept provides a basis where the principle of conservation of energy is violated.It is highly possible that a particle can borrow energy from universe for some time and has to repay it in time inversely proportinal to energy borrowed. This concept can be used to easily understand why some electrons can tunnel through high barriers even though they dont have enough energy.It also helps to understand production of alpha rays.
Paul Dirac , a prominent scientist , sought a new equation as Schrodinger Eqn was inconsistent with special relativity. When he did found one , on solving he got infinite solutions , one for each energy level.But the astounding result was that he got a negative energy level for each solution .Thus he gave the result of negative energy matter inhabiting all these states . And if an highly energtic photon should be able to create a electron-antielectron or proton-antiproton pair.
Antimatter particles have been found amid cosmic debris. Nowdays , though a more refined form of this theory is used , and it includes pair-creation and annihilation. But to produce a new pair energy needed is so high that when it is borrowed from universe it is for very very short interval. So these pair creation and annihilation keeps happening everywhere but we are unable to feel it due to short duration of time.
These particles so produced are generally termed virtual particles. And each particle is surrounded by a cloud of virtual particle and each virual particle by a cloud of its virtual particle , till infinty. Now these virtual particles have helped explain why 2 same charged particle repel each other and also have helped in explanation of Nuclear force.
Time and Clocks!!!
One incorrect but very common notion is that clocks measure rate of passage of time. Instead clocks actually measure the intervals between time . What is the difference?
We cant really find out how fast time moves , because time is a human-constructed notion .A example , on the basis of theory of relativity states that it is merely necessary to get up from your seat and walk a little to sweep thought thousands of years of reality of some distant star. it means that if while sitting we observe say 1000th yr of that star , after taking a short stroll , we would find that it is 6000th year of star's reality .
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Space and Time
The real revolution in Physics started with Albert Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity. the most of important point of which was that speed of Light remained constant however fast you may be moving , wherever you were in universe. It had stunning effects. Thus the only thing that happened when light came from a object that was receding from us was increase of its wavelength.
One of its implication was that if a spacecraft travels very fast , say at 99.9% of speed of Light , still light would seem to travel at 300,000 KM/s . The energy we spend in further increasing its speed starts going into increasing your mass by E=mc2 . But the craft itself doesnt feel any added weight , it instead feels length to contract . So at the speed 99.9%of light it will feel sun to be at mere 4 million miles and would complete the round trip in 44 seconds. But to the observer at earth it would be more than 16 minutes . So apparently the craft has landed in its future.This is the conecpt for Time Travel but practically the energy needed to power the craft could power our present technology for more than a million years .
This concept brought a view of world as 4 dimensional structure with 3 dimension of space and 1 dimension of time.And it thus brought about 2 concepts of time . one is in which we are static and time is flowing by. Another is in which all events are already present . It is us who are moving through those events.
Another implication of Einstein's theory was curving/elasticity of spacetime.First possibilty is that When light encounters a very dense material it is deflected due to gravity and thus
produces a dialation of time. Thus it implies that near a object which has mass of sun and radius of a few miles , the dialation is so huge that time comes to almost a halt. A few microseconds in that time would be more than few billion years to us. Example os such objects are Black Holes . Also there are Binary stars composed of neutron which are highly dense.Second possibilty is due to space shrinking or exapnding . It has been measured that our universe is expanding continiously wit each galaxy moving apart from all others.
Thus these concepts were the basis of remarkable change in view of space and time.
One of its implication was that if a spacecraft travels very fast , say at 99.9% of speed of Light , still light would seem to travel at 300,000 KM/s . The energy we spend in further increasing its speed starts going into increasing your mass by E=mc2 . But the craft itself doesnt feel any added weight , it instead feels length to contract . So at the speed 99.9%of light it will feel sun to be at mere 4 million miles and would complete the round trip in 44 seconds. But to the observer at earth it would be more than 16 minutes . So apparently the craft has landed in its future.This is the conecpt for Time Travel but practically the energy needed to power the craft could power our present technology for more than a million years .
This concept brought a view of world as 4 dimensional structure with 3 dimension of space and 1 dimension of time.And it thus brought about 2 concepts of time . one is in which we are static and time is flowing by. Another is in which all events are already present . It is us who are moving through those events.
Another implication of Einstein's theory was curving/elasticity of spacetime.First possibilty is that When light encounters a very dense material it is deflected due to gravity and thus
produces a dialation of time. Thus it implies that near a object which has mass of sun and radius of a few miles , the dialation is so huge that time comes to almost a halt. A few microseconds in that time would be more than few billion years to us. Example os such objects are Black Holes . Also there are Binary stars composed of neutron which are highly dense.Second possibilty is due to space shrinking or exapnding . It has been measured that our universe is expanding continiously wit each galaxy moving apart from all others.
Thus these concepts were the basis of remarkable change in view of space and time.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
I have Learned a Lesson!!!
The first time i met her was at the Idiscoveri Camp...And we were just casual friends...but i used to be with other people in d camp..so we werent too gud frns..we had emails nd promised to stay in touch..but i wasnt really in touch with her or in fact any1 for nxt 3 yrs...Well den wen i came back to delhi one day i just got to chat with her on MSN...it was real long time...and i just well chatted a bit more..and den we exchanged our numbers..for d nxt few days i just chatted with her more nd more... den one day i called her...nd we tlkd nd it was fun...Then there were the free SMS's that time..and so we got on SMS...and well it was so nice..we use to chat evryday on sms... and soon it was like hvn a real gud frnd....cuz we cud abt nething ..anytime...smthng like alwys dere...
It was a beautiful friendship...cuz i liked her nature...she had a bf ...who she used to say was overly possesive...smtimes she told me tht he had asked her to choose b/w other frns or himself...nd well she finally decided she was goin to breakup...but maybe she could not cuz within few days she was comm again i guess...it was july dat time....nd suddenly i realized dat i had to leave for IIT in july end...We had become really gud frns ( at least i felt tht way ....)
I was to go on maybe 23 july...nd her bday was on 26...so she really used to ask me to plz stay till her bday ...nd well i did think of stayin nd due to some delay in iit admission dates i got a tiicket for 30...so it was a normal day..i hadnt been able to msg her till afernoon so i msgd her as i got time ..the message wasnt delivered so i tght maybe she was in skul nd cell switched off...i waited ...no msg ...not day ..not next day..so i called her up... it said number not in use...i was like wht hppnd ...wen did she chng her number...so i called up on her landline and askd for her...her sis said she was in tuition ...she wud call u later..and aftr tht no calls ...no msgs..nothing...evn on her bday i tried to reach hr..but cudnt...she had all of a sudden broken all links...nd i nvr got to know why...i hv mailed her many times... but since den a year has passed and the only reply i hv ever got is tht..."Something just happened...it was beacuse of you..."
Wht happened...Why such experiences happen in life...I have learnt tht no experience is bad experience or tragedy ...it is just a lesson...but i fail to understand such a lesson...[its like a lesson from quantum mechanics...the only thing u understand is NOTHING... :) ..]
I have thus learned a lesson..tht non every lesson are meant to be learned...some u can just leave for test for Life
It was a beautiful friendship...cuz i liked her nature...she had a bf ...who she used to say was overly possesive...smtimes she told me tht he had asked her to choose b/w other frns or himself...nd well she finally decided she was goin to breakup...but maybe she could not cuz within few days she was comm again i guess...it was july dat time....nd suddenly i realized dat i had to leave for IIT in july end...We had become really gud frns ( at least i felt tht way ....)
I was to go on maybe 23 july...nd her bday was on 26...so she really used to ask me to plz stay till her bday ...nd well i did think of stayin nd due to some delay in iit admission dates i got a tiicket for 30...so it was a normal day..i hadnt been able to msg her till afernoon so i msgd her as i got time ..the message wasnt delivered so i tght maybe she was in skul nd cell switched off...i waited ...no msg ...not day ..not next day..so i called her up... it said number not in use...i was like wht hppnd ...wen did she chng her number...so i called up on her landline and askd for her...her sis said she was in tuition ...she wud call u later..and aftr tht no calls ...no msgs..nothing...evn on her bday i tried to reach hr..but cudnt...she had all of a sudden broken all links...nd i nvr got to know why...i hv mailed her many times... but since den a year has passed and the only reply i hv ever got is tht..."Something just happened...it was beacuse of you..."
Wht happened...Why such experiences happen in life...I have learnt tht no experience is bad experience or tragedy ...it is just a lesson...but i fail to understand such a lesson...[its like a lesson from quantum mechanics...the only thing u understand is NOTHING... :) ..]
I have thus learned a lesson..tht non every lesson are meant to be learned...some u can just leave for test for Life
Thursday, March 15, 2007
A Dream...Before Reality
I had set alarm to wake up on 12 nite @ 6 am... i did wake up but being tired i slept again...i woke up @ 7.30...now the strange thing was tht between dis period i had a dream... nd i could remember eveything about it almst very vividly...
Some sequences are illogical...but then it is a dream...
It strtd in d hostel in evening... maybe at nite...there was some disturbance in iit... as if some harmful elements had entered here...nd we wr in some revolt.. everyone was standing out of their room ... nd suddenly dere was voice of windows breaking in all d rooms.... no-one dared to enter d room... den suddenly derez dis guy holding a gun who appears nd run towards d bathroom... he enters it ... goes in another room inside d bathroom . i dont know why i am seized by a sudden impulse and i run after him ...and i try to close the door of d inner room...but am unable to do so and he comes out... nd fires at me... i remem getting 2 bullets in middle of my chest...nd i fall down...and ppl cry.. and someone comes nd holds my hand..after few secondss..my frst tght at tht point is ..i m gonna die... nd very toughly i speak plz tell richa i luv her a lot... den i reme nd i feel d wound in my chest... not hr8...so i tell ppl to get an ambulance...( not like movies...whr u wanna die )...d next thing i remem in dat dream is i m in hospital and a lady is about to operate on me...nd i m praying fast plz do it fast..my breathing is slowing... den she says it wud hurt nd i said continue....den she cuts open my chest ...nd removes 2 bullets easily...nd i feel pain but not very much...and den she sayz its amazing d bullets did not do much harm... nd i try to look inside my chest wdr some organs have been hurt...nd mybe i believed ntn had so i felt such a wave of relief ...dat i m gonna live... nd den i awoke...
I could not make anything of it...If anyone does...Letme know...
Some sequences are illogical...but then it is a dream...
It strtd in d hostel in evening... maybe at nite...there was some disturbance in iit... as if some harmful elements had entered here...nd we wr in some revolt.. everyone was standing out of their room ... nd suddenly dere was voice of windows breaking in all d rooms.... no-one dared to enter d room... den suddenly derez dis guy holding a gun who appears nd run towards d bathroom... he enters it ... goes in another room inside d bathroom . i dont know why i am seized by a sudden impulse and i run after him ...and i try to close the door of d inner room...but am unable to do so and he comes out... nd fires at me... i remem getting 2 bullets in middle of my chest...nd i fall down...and ppl cry.. and someone comes nd holds my hand..after few secondss..my frst tght at tht point is ..i m gonna die... nd very toughly i speak plz tell richa i luv her a lot... den i reme nd i feel d wound in my chest... not hr8...so i tell ppl to get an ambulance...( not like movies...whr u wanna die )...d next thing i remem in dat dream is i m in hospital and a lady is about to operate on me...nd i m praying fast plz do it fast..my breathing is slowing... den she says it wud hurt nd i said continue....den she cuts open my chest ...nd removes 2 bullets easily...nd i feel pain but not very much...and den she sayz its amazing d bullets did not do much harm... nd i try to look inside my chest wdr some organs have been hurt...nd mybe i believed ntn had so i felt such a wave of relief ...dat i m gonna live... nd den i awoke...
I could not make anything of it...If anyone does...Letme know...
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Love
Well i have nothing to do...So i decided to write on a subject on which i have little idea by experience but enough by learning...Its something that brings us immense pleasure...and yest might bring us maximum agony...
Its something you might fall into accidentally...and some mite have accident cuz they hv fallen into it [:)]..
I am talking about love...Sometimes disguised as attraction...sometimes branded infatuation...
To be true by real experience...I have loved ,except my parents and relatives ( some of whom i shudnt have!!!), maybe just one girl...attractions maybe to a few more...but love...real joy ..just one...Her name is secret and she knows it...but i m not as lucky to have her love me back...
In my whole lifetime ( which is a decent 18 yrs now )..I have proposed about 10 girls or round about...Though none is last in almst last 2 yrs...
Now what do we feel is love... Why do we feel it...Is it that love is a cause for living...or living is a cause to love...Whichever way round...we sometimes , in today'z world , dont really fall in love... We simply fall in d trend... Which is to love a girl...go out wid her...
In today's world...Love is mostly a trend , a status symbool to have a gf...You go out and propose to a girl...Then persuade her to say yes...Then u r officially in a relation..and you are GOING AROUND wid d person...even though u literally mite not be...Den it is a duty to call up 10 times a day and start and end conversation wid love u...not subscribingto which u r bound to anger ur luvd one...and then u have to spend xtra time nd effort patching up...den u need to take her out to dates nd dinners...give her gifts..be the frst one in mrng and last1 at nite to talk...and indulging in all d stupid talks ...sometimes lying..sometimes exaggerating...another imp feature is the brakup and patch up which happens frquently just to add up spice...
What is love to me??
Well it is like a form of energy ...the ultimate form of energy...It is when u r in condition to attain enlighten ment...It is wen ur soul is one with the soul of someone else...and words are no longer needed to communicate...
It is a boundless realm ....of energy...and can be dangerous too... Just like our body produces other vital ingredients for us to survive...Love is produced in our body every day... it manifests itself in everything we do...But wht if u r alone... When we r alone...when we hv no one to love...the love keeps on collecting inside us...it searches for outlets..and wen dere r none it strts making us desperate and frustrated...u can feel it pulsating inside ur body wen u have got a chance to love someone...or even be with a gud frnd for some dayz...
Its a hard feeling when kept bottled up... But when expressed truly it is most blissful thing evr to happen to u...
To be happy in life..you need to have and give love continiously...
Ya ...as i havent been in a srys relation i cant say... i m too inexperienced...but i have seen others around me...and now they are undergoing the agony of aftermath of love...But what i think is ...cant it be more simple and exciting...cant it be just the natural way love flows... cant it be tht if i feel something for a person...we can be more of best frns rather than going around... Why is it tht wid a guy best frnd..u dunt hv to tlk whole day to love each other...u can jst be urself...why not so wid someone u really care about.. i have no problem about going out and all... but y d lies.. y d pretending... y the constant need for saying luv u...wen its written all around in air...i fail to understand the modern day love...
I fail to understand myself...
Maybe tht d reason y havent experienced the bliss or agony of love for some years...maybe thts the reason i have no gf... maybe thts d reason i dont have d courage to go up to a girl to tell dat i like her..and wud like to know more about her ...instead of jst proposing her...
Maybe dats d reason y i sometimes feel unhappy...of being alone...
But the only reason i know is tht i write this... so tht d reason might find me...rather than me finding the reason...
Its something you might fall into accidentally...and some mite have accident cuz they hv fallen into it [:)]..
I am talking about love...Sometimes disguised as attraction...sometimes branded infatuation...
To be true by real experience...I have loved ,except my parents and relatives ( some of whom i shudnt have!!!), maybe just one girl...attractions maybe to a few more...but love...real joy ..just one...Her name is secret and she knows it...but i m not as lucky to have her love me back...
In my whole lifetime ( which is a decent 18 yrs now )..I have proposed about 10 girls or round about...Though none is last in almst last 2 yrs...
Now what do we feel is love... Why do we feel it...Is it that love is a cause for living...or living is a cause to love...Whichever way round...we sometimes , in today'z world , dont really fall in love... We simply fall in d trend... Which is to love a girl...go out wid her...
In today's world...Love is mostly a trend , a status symbool to have a gf...You go out and propose to a girl...Then persuade her to say yes...Then u r officially in a relation..and you are GOING AROUND wid d person...even though u literally mite not be...Den it is a duty to call up 10 times a day and start and end conversation wid love u...not subscribingto which u r bound to anger ur luvd one...and then u have to spend xtra time nd effort patching up...den u need to take her out to dates nd dinners...give her gifts..be the frst one in mrng and last1 at nite to talk...and indulging in all d stupid talks ...sometimes lying..sometimes exaggerating...another imp feature is the brakup and patch up which happens frquently just to add up spice...
What is love to me??
Well it is like a form of energy ...the ultimate form of energy...It is when u r in condition to attain enlighten ment...It is wen ur soul is one with the soul of someone else...and words are no longer needed to communicate...
It is a boundless realm ....of energy...and can be dangerous too... Just like our body produces other vital ingredients for us to survive...Love is produced in our body every day... it manifests itself in everything we do...But wht if u r alone... When we r alone...when we hv no one to love...the love keeps on collecting inside us...it searches for outlets..and wen dere r none it strts making us desperate and frustrated...u can feel it pulsating inside ur body wen u have got a chance to love someone...or even be with a gud frnd for some dayz...
Its a hard feeling when kept bottled up... But when expressed truly it is most blissful thing evr to happen to u...
To be happy in life..you need to have and give love continiously...
Ya ...as i havent been in a srys relation i cant say... i m too inexperienced...but i have seen others around me...and now they are undergoing the agony of aftermath of love...But what i think is ...cant it be more simple and exciting...cant it be just the natural way love flows... cant it be tht if i feel something for a person...we can be more of best frns rather than going around... Why is it tht wid a guy best frnd..u dunt hv to tlk whole day to love each other...u can jst be urself...why not so wid someone u really care about.. i have no problem about going out and all... but y d lies.. y d pretending... y the constant need for saying luv u...wen its written all around in air...i fail to understand the modern day love...
I fail to understand myself...
Maybe tht d reason y havent experienced the bliss or agony of love for some years...maybe thts the reason i have no gf... maybe thts d reason i dont have d courage to go up to a girl to tell dat i like her..and wud like to know more about her ...instead of jst proposing her...
Maybe dats d reason y i sometimes feel unhappy...of being alone...
But the only reason i know is tht i write this... so tht d reason might find me...rather than me finding the reason...
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Dreams
I looked around...found no-one...
Rubbed my eyes ...was it true...
where are all dose ppl...
who said dey wr wid me...
whr hv dey gone...
I walked d rough road...
nd slipped once twice nd more...
and i waited for a guiding hand...
but found none...
I felt alone in d crowded world...
i felt tears in d crowd of smiling faces...
but now i too feel d joy...
cuz to experience pleasure you need to transcend pain...
i feel a shy smile creep up ..
nd explode into a wave of joy inside me..
cuz i know now i have no1 but me...
cuz now i find enlightenment ...
alone or wid some few i can live...
and do good for it is what i want to be...
and see my dreams come true...
for now i have dem...
Rubbed my eyes ...was it true...
where are all dose ppl...
who said dey wr wid me...
whr hv dey gone...
I walked d rough road...
nd slipped once twice nd more...
and i waited for a guiding hand...
but found none...
I felt alone in d crowded world...
i felt tears in d crowd of smiling faces...
but now i too feel d joy...
cuz to experience pleasure you need to transcend pain...
i feel a shy smile creep up ..
nd explode into a wave of joy inside me..
cuz i know now i have no1 but me...
cuz now i find enlightenment ...
alone or wid some few i can live...
and do good for it is what i want to be...
and see my dreams come true...
for now i have dem...
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
A Odd Meeting
Its about 2 months since i met her...nd i think my fear of her..nd others things contirbuted to such a-ve otulook...now i feel i was srysly mistaken...nd shez really gud person...
my apologies...
but i wud keep the post so as to remind me of wht i can mis-understand
I met up with a girl today ... Hmm ... It was the first time i met a girl in guwahati nd a long time anywayz...there should have been excitement ... but god knows why there wasnt any...
1. she was a friend's girlfriend...my friend had asked me to meet her... nd i m not sure she wntd to meet me ... mybe cuz of my frnd she met me
2.He asked me to get flowers and choclates for ... i searched for them a little nd finally got them ... But i took just a single rose... When i had given her that she dint even question it ... She dint really have any intrest or wat i dunno ... She shud have asked y sm1 gives a single unpacked rose ... when d trend is of 10 to 12 rose booke...
3.She was too much in love with a guy she had never even seen ...just talked to over the phone ...and that too for not even 1 month i supp...
4.She had started hating the guy who she loved dyingly for 2 yrs maybe....
5.She had nothin to talk abt except 2 other sweet nd cute guyz ... Who were really nd dearly fond of her but not her bf ... y she nvr told me...
6. Her wayz were jst too expensive for me...
7.She maybe cudnt understand all d hints i said to bring her friend along ... or maybe i speak english very poorly...(?who knows ?)
8.And cuz my intution wich mostly gvz me a gud feeling abt gud person... ws blowing red ...
Still she was really intelligent nd bold nd made me believe dat evry1 feared her ... nd cudnt mess wid her...
And yet lastly ... She perfectly understood dat my life was not really full of girls as her life was full of boys ... I had lived in kota nd now in iit... Girls was a sensitive issue for me...( dont girls ask for d world ?? ) ... and well this reason is equivalent to above 8 nd even more... nd she was too insensitive ...
Had she not been .. maybe she wud have been kind enough to bring a frnd along... or offered a little help ...cuz maybe if she can meet me ...den she trusts me a little ( or my frnd a lot ) ... nd on d same basis a lot of things cud be done...
Yeah i might get upset... But well i wudnt want to just waste my mind resource doing that... so i wrote it all nd now wud frgt it nd not worry
my apologies...
but i wud keep the post so as to remind me of wht i can mis-understand
I met up with a girl today ... Hmm ... It was the first time i met a girl in guwahati nd a long time anywayz...there should have been excitement ... but god knows why there wasnt any...
1. she was a friend's girlfriend...my friend had asked me to meet her... nd i m not sure she wntd to meet me ... mybe cuz of my frnd she met me
2.He asked me to get flowers and choclates for ... i searched for them a little nd finally got them ... But i took just a single rose... When i had given her that she dint even question it ... She dint really have any intrest or wat i dunno ... She shud have asked y sm1 gives a single unpacked rose ... when d trend is of 10 to 12 rose booke...
3.She was too much in love with a guy she had never even seen ...just talked to over the phone ...and that too for not even 1 month i supp...
4.She had started hating the guy who she loved dyingly for 2 yrs maybe....
5.She had nothin to talk abt except 2 other sweet nd cute guyz ... Who were really nd dearly fond of her but not her bf ... y she nvr told me...
6. Her wayz were jst too expensive for me...
7.She maybe cudnt understand all d hints i said to bring her friend along ... or maybe i speak english very poorly...(?who knows ?)
8.And cuz my intution wich mostly gvz me a gud feeling abt gud person... ws blowing red ...
Still she was really intelligent nd bold nd made me believe dat evry1 feared her ... nd cudnt mess wid her...
And yet lastly ... She perfectly understood dat my life was not really full of girls as her life was full of boys ... I had lived in kota nd now in iit... Girls was a sensitive issue for me...( dont girls ask for d world ?? ) ... and well this reason is equivalent to above 8 nd even more... nd she was too insensitive ...
Had she not been .. maybe she wud have been kind enough to bring a frnd along... or offered a little help ...cuz maybe if she can meet me ...den she trusts me a little ( or my frnd a lot ) ... nd on d same basis a lot of things cud be done...
Yeah i might get upset... But well i wudnt want to just waste my mind resource doing that... so i wrote it all nd now wud frgt it nd not worry
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Last Love Letter
Well i dunt know how to start cuz i know i would end up awkwardly...
But somehow i gotta say it...
Well See at some point of time you really need a friend ..maybe best friend ..whom u can talk to ...spend quality time with...walk with ...and lots of things...And mostly it can only be a girl who can be such a friend...cuz she is so understanding...
Basically i know nothing about you...Except ur name...i dunt even know if u r in love currently or not...
But still u can say i m sort of proposing u...My mail might appear to be very stupid maybe and if u dont want me to mail you again let me know( i wud try not to)...But i had rather take a risk...than not taking it and regretting it all my life...
And yes therez one important thing i wud like to say... It 's from a book ONE NIGHT AT THE CALL CENTRE.." When a person is hungry , he wud say i need food without thinking...When he cant breathe , He wud scream for air...When he is unwell , he wud ask for help...but isnt love ( or whtvr tht is i dunt know) the basic need of life...Cant someone say i need luv...It sounds odd na..."
I just wanted to ask u whether u wud be my such a friend whom i can meet ...whom i can talk to...whom i can trust ...
This was the last love letter i wrote. it was Aug 12 ,2006 ... Since then i havent felt love for a girl.. maybe i would soon forget what it is to be passionate about some girl ... maybe i have something better for future... Who knows... I am waiting ...yet waiting.... till ???
And the reply i got was "i really dnt want to mail u any more so plzstop mailing me"
incidentally i hadnt even seen the girl ... but i was just too desparate to fall in love... so the last real time i was in so called "LOVE " was in May '05
But somehow i gotta say it...
Well See at some point of time you really need a friend ..maybe best friend ..whom u can talk to ...spend quality time with...walk with ...and lots of things...And mostly it can only be a girl who can be such a friend...cuz she is so understanding...
Basically i know nothing about you...Except ur name...i dunt even know if u r in love currently or not...
But still u can say i m sort of proposing u...My mail might appear to be very stupid maybe and if u dont want me to mail you again let me know( i wud try not to)...But i had rather take a risk...than not taking it and regretting it all my life...
And yes therez one important thing i wud like to say... It 's from a book ONE NIGHT AT THE CALL CENTRE.." When a person is hungry , he wud say i need food without thinking...When he cant breathe , He wud scream for air...When he is unwell , he wud ask for help...but isnt love ( or whtvr tht is i dunt know) the basic need of life...Cant someone say i need luv...It sounds odd na..."
I just wanted to ask u whether u wud be my such a friend whom i can meet ...whom i can talk to...whom i can trust ...
This was the last love letter i wrote. it was Aug 12 ,2006 ... Since then i havent felt love for a girl.. maybe i would soon forget what it is to be passionate about some girl ... maybe i have something better for future... Who knows... I am waiting ...yet waiting.... till ???
And the reply i got was "i really dnt want to mail u any more so plzstop mailing me"
incidentally i hadnt even seen the girl ... but i was just too desparate to fall in love... so the last real time i was in so called "LOVE " was in May '05
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